so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
