I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
