They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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