Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
