He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dicks are not precious.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
