Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
