Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
