Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
