i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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