i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
