After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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