Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
