Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
