She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
