Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
