Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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