it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
