never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
