You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
