is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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