Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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