he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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