he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
