Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
