Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
And then he peed in my hair
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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