If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
