sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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