Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
