Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We have started to decorate penises.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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