my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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