If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
