PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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