Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
do nipples grow back?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
