So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
