just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
