Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
