Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
