I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
