I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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