Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I need to calm my uterus...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
