So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
