Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
