We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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