hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
