...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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