school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
