I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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