Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
