carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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