Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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