Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
